Break or Bypass? How to Tell If You're Practicing Self-Care or Just Escaping
“I just need a break.”
We’ve all said it—after a stressful week, a hard conversation, or even just an average Tuesday. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to unwind. But if your break leaves you feeling more drained than restored, it’s worth asking: Was that self-care or just avoidance?
Self-care and escapism can look nearly identical on the outside. A long nap, binge-watching a show, scrolling through TikTok, ordering your favorite takeout, or going on a weekend trip—each of these could either be deeply nourishing or quietly harmful. The key lies in the why and the how you feel afterward.
Let’s explore how to tell whether you’re refueling—or running from something.
What Is Escapism?
Escapism is the act of avoiding stress, emotions, or responsibilities by distracting yourself. It often starts as a coping mechanism and can offer short-term relief. But when used too frequently, escapism can quickly become a way to avoid uncomfortable feelings, looming deadlines, or unresolved conflicts.
Here’s what escapism might look like:
You scroll through social media for hours to avoid thinking about a decision you’re scared to make.
You nap during the day, not because you're tired, but to delay replying to a message that brings up anxiety.
You constantly rewatch a comfort show because it feels safer than sitting with difficult emotions.
Over time, escapism creates a cycle of avoidance. You still feel tired. You still haven’t responded. You still dread the thing you’re putting off. The “break” didn’t help—you were just running on empty, hoping the problem would disappear.
What Is Self-Care?
Self-care, on the other hand, is intentional. It’s about tuning in, not tuning out. It might still look like a nap or a show or a walk—but it comes from a place of love, not fear.
It sounds like:
“My body feels tense—I’m going to do some deep breathing or stretch.”
“That conversation drained me. I need a quiet hour to journal and process.”
“I’ve had a long week, and I know I’ll feel more present after a long shower and early bedtime.”
Self-care helps you recharge and reconnect with yourself. It doesn’t delay or numb your emotions—it makes space for them. It may even help you approach life’s challenges with more clarity and calm.
Escapism vs. Self-Care: Key Differences
Understanding the difference can help you make healthier decisions that actually support your well-being. Here are some side-by-side comparisons:
**Escapism** **Self-Care**
- Avoiding feelings or responsibilities - Honoring and addressing your needs
- Leaves you feeling guilty or empty - Leaves you feeling nourished or grounded
- Driven by fear, overwhelm, or anxiety - Driven by awareness, intention, and love
- Disconnection from yourself - Deeper connection with yourself
- Delays healing or action - Encourages healing and progress
Of course, some activities can be both, depending on your motivation. Watching Netflix might be a joyful reward after a long day—or a way to block out your feelings for six hours straight.
Ask Yourself: Am I Taking Care, or Taking Cover?
Here are five helpful questions to ask when you’re unsure:
1. Why am I doing this?
Is this to recharge—or to avoid something?
2. How do I feel afterward?
Calm, rested, and clear? Or still anxious, guilty, and stuck?
3. What would I be doing if I weren’t doing this?
Am I delaying something important?
4. Is this helping me face my life—or hide from it?
5. How can I gently balance this moment with what I actually need?
You don’t have to turn every activity into a psychology session—but a little pause and reflection can go a long way. It gives you a chance to choose what actually supports you, rather than falling into autopilot.
When Escapism Becomes a Habit
No one escapes all the time—but if avoidance becomes your default, it can impact your mental and emotional health. Chronic escapism may lead to:
Emotional numbness
Anxiety and guilt
Missed opportunities
Strained relationships
Physical and emotional burnout
In high-stress seasons—like political turmoil, family conflict, or societal upheaval—escapism can become especially tempting. You may feel overstimulated and overwhelmed, and avoiding your thoughts might feel like the only way to survive.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
How to Shift from Escapism to Self-Care
If you notice you’ve been escaping more than caring for yourself lately, be kind to yourself. Recognizing the pattern is a powerful first step. Here are some gentle ways to move toward authentic self-care:
1. Start Small and Simple
Pick one small, meaningful act of care each day—drink water, step outside for 5 minutes, or text someone you trust.
2. Name What You're Avoiding
Write it down, say it out loud, or tell a friend. Naming your fear or stress takes away some of its power and brings it into the light.
3. Set Limits on Escapes
There’s nothing wrong with watching a show or playing games—just give it a time limit. You deserve rest, but not at the cost of your peace.
4. Pair It With a Follow-Up
If you escape for 30 minutes, follow it with a grounding action. Call someone, make a plan, or take one step toward what you were avoiding.
5. Reach Out for Help
Sometimes what feels like “lazy” or “procrastination” is actually something deeper—burnout, trauma, grief, or anxiety. Therapy can help you understand those patterns and gently shift them.
When the World Feels Heavy: Escapism Can Sneak In
During an election year—or in any time of social unrest—feelings of fear, hopelessness, and overwhelm can easily flood your nervous system. You might want to unplug completely, ignore the news, or avoid certain conversations altogether.
While boundaries are a form of self-care, disconnection rooted in fear can begin to blur into escapism. That’s when it becomes important to ground yourself again.
Here’s a reminder: You are allowed to rest. You’re allowed to not have all the answers. You’re allowed to protect your energy. But you’re also worthy of support, clarity, and meaningful coping—not just survival mode.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve True Care, Not Just Temporary Relief
Escapism gives us space, but not solutions. Self-care gives us strength. When you know the difference—and offer yourself real, grounded compassion—you start to feel more present, more capable, and more like yourself.
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether you’re in Chicago or elsewhere in Illinois, you deserve care that meets you where you are—especially during difficult seasons like this one.
Feeling overwhelmed by election stress or emotional burnout?
Walk With Me Counseling Center is here to help if you're overwhelmed by election stress or political disagreements. We offer virtual therapy sessions across Illinois, so support is just a click away no matter where you are—whether in Chicago or another part of the state.
COMPLETE INTAKE FORM
Take the first step toward protecting your mental health during this intense election season.
Your mental well-being should be your top priority, especially during an election as heated as this one. Don't let political stress strain your relationships or leave you feeling overwhelmed. Whether you're in Chicago or elsewhere in Illinois, we're here to help you navigate these challenging conversations before they take a bigger toll on your mental health.
