Reconnect and Restore: Why Now Is the Time to Reach Out to Old Friends
We all have people we think about from time to time—an old friend from high school, a college roommate, or a former coworker who once felt like family. Maybe life got busy. Maybe distance or time made reconnecting feel awkward. But what if reaching out now could not only rekindle a relationship—but also uplift your mental health?
At Walk With Me Counseling Center in Chicago, Illinois, we often talk about how healing isn’t just an internal journey—it’s deeply relational. And one of the most overlooked mental health practices is simple: reconnection.
The Hesitation We All Feel
It’s common to believe that too much time has passed, or that reaching out might feel weird. You might think:
l "They’ve probably moved on."
l "It’d be awkward after all these years."
l "They might not even remember me."
But research shows that these assumptions are often wrong. In fact, when we reconnect, the impact is usually more positive and meaningful than we expect.
What the Research Says
A 2022 study by Liu and colleagues explored what happens when people reach out to someone they haven’t spoken to in a while. Across 13 experiments, they found that people consistently underestimated how much the other person would appreciate the gesture.
Whether it was a text, a note, or even a small gift, the results were the same: people assumed the reconnection would be no big deal. But on the receiving end? It felt surprisingly meaningful.
The reason? The power of surprise.
When you hear from someone you haven’t thought of in a while—especially out of the blue—it lands differently. It tells you: you were remembered. You mattered. That kind of emotional boost can create an immediate sense of belonging, warmth, and connection.
It's Not Just Sentimental—It's Psychological
The same study found that people appreciated these gestures even more when the relationship had once been strong. Old friends, former confidants, teammates, and even classmates tend to hold emotional significance, even if years have passed.
And here’s where it gets important for mental health:
l Reconnection reduces feelings of isolation.
l It increases oxytocin, the hormone associated with bonding and trust.
l It can ease anxiety by reminding us that we’re part of a wider network.
l It grounds us in shared history and identity.
Why We Underestimate the Impact
Part of the disconnect is mental framing. When we consider reaching out, we focus on how we’ll be perceived. We might worry about looking random, awkward, or even needy.
But the person receiving the message? They’re not thinking about any of that. They’re thinking:
l "Wow, they thought of me."
l "That really made my day."
l "It feels good to know I mattered.
The study also showed that even a short message could have a big impact. You don’t need to write a long letter or explain why you lost touch. A simple "Hey, I was just thinking about you and hope you’re doing well" goes a long way.
Strong Ties vs. Weak Ties
Interestingly, the researchers also found a difference between reaching out to strong ties (people you were once close to) versus weak ties (acquaintances or casual friends).
l People felt more appreciated by strong ties.
l We were better at predicting how strong ties would respond.
l But even weak ties responded positively, often with more surprise.
So whether it’s someone you shared years of memories with or someone who simply made an impression, the invitation to reconnect still matters.
What Holds Us Back (And Why We Should Push Through)
Life is busy. We get wrapped up in work, parenting, caregiving, surviving, and everything in between. But disconnection often leaves a silent mark. It’s a quiet erosion of our social identity and emotional wellness.
The fear of rejection also plays a role. But the data shows that rejection is rare. Most people don’t just respond—they respond warmly and with gratitude.
We often need to stop thinking like the sender, and start imagining how we’d feel if we got a message out of the blue from someone we used to care about. Chances are, we’d be glad they reached out.
Reconnecting as a Form of Self-Care
At Walk With Me Counseling Center, we encourage therapy clients to explore their social connections as part of their healing journey. Restoring old friendships can:
l Reignite forgotten joy
l Offer emotional support
l Deepen your sense of identity
l Remind you of your growth
l Reduce loneliness and isolation
This isn’t about going back to who you were. It’s about bringing your present self into conversations that once brought you meaning.
Even if the relationship doesn’t pick up where it left off, the act of reaching out can be a moment of release, healing, and unexpected joy.
How to Reach Out Without Overthinking It
Here are a few simple scripts you can adapt:
l The Simple Check-In: "Hey! You popped into my head today. I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. Hope life’s been good to you."
l The Shared Memory: "Was just thinking about that road trip we took junior year. Made me smile. Hope you’re doing well!"
l The Honest Reach-Out: "I know it’s been a while, and I’m not sure what you’re up to these days, but I just wanted to say I miss our talks and would love to catch up sometime.
It’s Never Too Late
Whether it’s been 6 months or 16 years, the time you spent with someone doesn’t lose its meaning. Those friendships shaped who you were—and who you are now. Reaching out doesn’t erase the past. It honors it.
And with so much happening in the world right now—political stress, cultural exhaustion, and emotional burnout—small acts of connection matter more than ever.
Ready to Reconnect?
If reconnecting with others feels emotionally overwhelming or stirs up unresolved feelings, you don’t have to go through it alone. Therapy can be a grounding space to process what reconnection means to you—or to help you find peace even if it doesn’t go as expected.
Walk With Me Counseling Center is here to help if you're overwhelmed by election stress, disconnection, or emotional burnout. We offer virtual therapy sessions across Illinois, so support is just a click away no matter where you are—whether in Chicago or another part of the state.
Complete our Intake Form today and take the first step toward protecting your mental health during this intense election season.
Your mental well-being should be your top priority, especially during stressful times. Don’t let fear of awkwardness or old patterns stop you from reaching out, healing, or reconnecting. Whether you’re in Chicago or elsewhere in Illinois, we’re here to help you navigate it—one conversation at a time.
