Feeling Disconnected? Make Fun a Daily Ritual to Reclaim Joy

It’s easy to believe that some people are just naturally happier than others—effortlessly cheerful, always laughing, and somehow able to find fun even in the smallest things. But for most adults, that kind of joy doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. Between work, family responsibilities, and the constant barrage of digital distractions, our schedules fill up fast. Many of us move from one task to the next without ever pausing to ask: Am I actually enjoying my life?

Eventually, that quiet question starts to echo louder. You may begin to feel like you're just going through the motions—productive but joyless, successful yet emotionally starved. If this sounds familiar, you're likely not lacking in happiness, but in fun.

At Walk With Me Counseling Center in Chicago, Illinois, we often see clients who are exhausted from trying to “get it all done” without ever asking themselves what they actually want to feel day to day. For many, incorporating more fun into life isn’t a luxury—it’s a path back to mental wellness.

Why Fun Feels So Far Away

In our work and in the research behind books like The Fun Habit, one core truth stands out: adults don’t lose their sense of fun—they just forget to practice it. As we grow older, the idea of fun often gets filed away under “childish” or “non-essential.” But fun isn’t frivolous—it’s healing. In fact, research shows that intentionally carving out time for joy not only improves mental health but also strengthens resilience, relationships, and focus.

One of the major barriers to fun is the idea that it should “just happen.” We assume that if our lives were in better shape—more time, more money, fewer responsibilities—we’d naturally have more fun. But the reality is that fun, like any habit, needs to be practiced deliberately.

And yet, many people get caught in the happiness trap—the belief that happiness is a destination we can reach through achievement, self-improvement, or enough therapy. But happiness framed this way becomes an evaluation of how our lives look from the outside. It’s a retrospective judgment: Am I happy with how things are going?

Fun is different. It’s not something you assess—it’s something you do. It anchors you in the present moment and reminds you what it feels like to be fully alive.

The PLAY Model: A Blueprint for Rediscovering Joy

So how do we get there? The PLAY Model—introduced in The Fun Habit—offers a helpful way to examine how we spend our time and what kinds of activities fill (or drain) us.

Try this: look at how you spend your time during a typical week. Then categorize your activities into the following quadrants:

1. Pleasing Activities

These are low-effort, high-reward moments that bring real joy without demanding much from you. Think: listening to music you love, taking a short walk, sipping coffee in silence, or texting a friend just to say hi. You don’t need a vacation or hours of free time. These tiny “joy sips” throughout the day can have a massive impact on your mood and mindset.

2. Living Activities

These stretch you beyond your comfort zone in ways that align with your personal values. It might be learning a new skill, tackling a physical challenge, or volunteering for a cause you care about. These take more energy than Pleasing activities, but the sense of accomplishment and meaning they bring is often deeper. They’re where growth happens.

3. Agonizing Activities

These are the tasks you dread but do anyway—commuting in traffic, doing tedious chores, navigating toxic work dynamics, or attending obligations out of guilt. While some of these are necessary, others may be self-imposed or outdated. With honest reflection, you might find ways to delegate, delay, or redesign these responsibilities to make them less draining.

4. Yielding Activities

This category is the sneakiest. These are passive activities that require little effort but give back even less—mindlessly scrolling through social media, binge-watching shows you don’t really enjoy, or falling into a clickhole on YouTube. These are not inherently “bad,” but overuse can leave you feeling numb and disconnected.

By becoming aware of how much time you spend in each category, you can begin to recalibrate your daily habits toward activities that energize and nourish you.

Small Shifts, Big Impact

The good news is you don’t have to overhaul your entire life to start feeling better. Often, one or two small shifts in your day can change everything.

For instance:

- Instead of opening your phone first thing in the morning, spend five minutes journaling or stretching.

- Replace 10 minutes of doom-scrolling with a short walk or your favorite playlist.

- Say no to one draining obligation this week and say yes to something that excites you.

The magic lies not in what you remove but in what you invite in.

Try the 7-Day Fun Habit Challenge

If you’re ready to experiment, try this one-week challenge to gently move toward a more joyful, intentional life.

Day 1: Identify one Yielding activity you can reduce. Replace it with something that makes you feel genuinely good—even if it’s just for 10 minutes.

Day 2: Do one thing that stretches you a bit. Maybe it’s signing up for a new class, introducing yourself to someone, or taking a creative risk.

Day 3: Reach out to someone you care about. A quick call or message can rekindle connection and lighten your emotional load.

Day 4: Spend 10 minutes doing something that’s just for you—not for productivity or anyone else’s approval.

Day 5: Find one Agonizing task on your calendar. Ask: Can this be avoided, automated, or done in a more pleasant way?

Day 6: Plan one experience that excites you. It could be as simple as a solo museum visit or a spontaneous road trip with a friend.

Day 7: Reflect. What activities gave you energy? What drained you? What would you like to do more of in the weeks ahead?

What If You Still Struggle?

Of course, even with awareness and good intentions, emotional blocks can get in the way. You might feel guilty for doing things just for yourself. You might feel unsure about what you even enjoy anymore. You might be so overwhelmed by current events—like the upcoming election—that “fun” feels impossible.

That’s where therapy can help.

At Walk With Me Counseling Center, based in Chicago and serving all of Illinois virtually, we help clients reconnect with the parts of themselves that have been neglected—creativity, spontaneity, joy, even play. Especially during times of heightened anxiety or political conflict, having a mental health plan that includes intentional renewal is crucial.

You Deserve Joy, Even Now—Especially Now

Walk With Me Counseling Center is here to help if you're overwhelmed by election stress or political disagreements. We offer virtual therapy sessions across Illinois, so support is just a click away, no matter where you are—whether in Chicago or another part of the state.

Complete our Intake Form today and take the first step toward protecting your mental health during this intense election season.