You’ve Always Been Enough: Reclaiming Self-Worth Beyond the Chase

It’s a question that echoes silently in the minds of so many women. Often whispered, rarely spoken aloud. It shows up when we doubt ourselves in relationships, overextend at work, compare ourselves to others, or feel like we’re constantly falling short. In a world that trains us to chase our worth, we forget a fundamental truth:

You’ve been enough all along.

Women—especially Black women and women of color—are often expected to be strong, self-sacrificing, and endlessly resilient. And while strength is beautiful, the pressure to perform, prove, and push ourselves to the limit can quietly erode our sense of worth. This Women’s Month, we invite you to pause… and release the chase.

The Illusion of Earning Worth

When we were children, our worth wasn’t up for debate. We laughed without apology, expressed ourselves freely, and didn’t ask if we were lovable or deserving. That innate knowing of our value was untouched—until the world began to tell us otherwise.

Somewhere along the way, we learned that our worth was something to earn. That we needed to do more, achieve more, be more to be enough.

Whether it was through comments at school, unrealistic beauty standards, generational beliefs, or the constant pressure to succeed, we started tying our value to:

• Job titles and productivity

• Degrees, accomplishments, and awards

• Bank accounts and material success

• Social approval—likes, follows, and curated images

• How much we can give without asking for anything in return

This “chase” is exhausting. And even when we achieve the next goal or win someone’s validation, it often doesn’t feel like enough.

Social Media: A Modern Battleground for Worth

In today’s digital world, the chase is intensified. Social media invites constant comparison. We see polished highlight reels and begin to believe that everyone else has it all together while we struggle in silence. We compare our messy, human reality to filtered perfection.

It’s no wonder so many of us walk around with quiet shame or inadequacy, feeling like we’re the only ones falling short.

But here’s the truth: None of those external markers can define your worth. They never could. And they never will.

My Journey from Proving to Peace

In my personal journey—something I share more deeply in my book Calm Within the Storm—I spent years chasing worthiness. I believed that by achieving more, I’d eventually feel whole. I earned five degrees. Reached career milestones. Accomplished things that once felt impossible.

But even then, the feeling of “not enough” lingered.

It wasn’t until I began doing the inner work—reconnecting with my inherent value—that I found peace. Letting go of the need to prove myself to others was the beginning of reclaiming my power. I started to write a new narrative, one that didn’t rely on anyone else’s approval to feel worthy.

Conditional vs. Genuine Self-Worth

Dr. Gabor Maté explores this concept beautifully by distinguishing between contingent self-esteem and genuine self-esteem.

• Contingent self-worth relies on external validation: applause, success, beauty, money, or approval from others. But this kind of worth is unstable—it can crumble the moment something changes.

• Genuine self-worth, on the other hand, is unwavering. It isn’t based on what you do or have—it’s based on who you are. It lives in your core and stays rooted, even when life gets hard.

You don’t have to earn this kind of worth. You already have it. You just have to remember it.

Letting Go of the Chase

It’s time to stop outsourcing your value. Your worth doesn’t come from someone else’s opinion or a resume line.

Here are five ways to begin reclaiming your self-worth:

1. Reflect: Where Have You Been Searching for Worth?

Take a moment to honestly explore this question: What have I tied my self-worth to?

Has it been tied to your productivity, appearance, or achievements? Has it come from the praise of others or from being “needed” by everyone around you?

Start noticing the patterns. Awareness is the first step to healing. And remember: You are not what you do. You are not what you produce. You are enough simply because you exist.

2. Repair Your Inner Dialogue

Our internal voice holds incredible power. But many of us carry an inner critic that’s harsh, unforgiving, and rooted in old wounds.

You might hear it say:

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “I always mess things up.”

• “No one really cares about me.”

Challenge those thoughts. Ask: Where did this belief come from? Is it fact—or just a feeling?

Replace those narratives with gentler truths:

• “I am doing my best, and that’s enough.”

• “I don’t have to be perfect to be loved.”

• “I am growing, healing, and still worthy.”

Speak to yourself like you would speak to a child or friend you love. Your healing begins with kindness.

3. Know Who You Are—and Who You’re Not

It’s easy to get lost in labels. “The strong one.” “The responsible one.” “The overachiever.” These roles may have served you at one time, but they don’t define you.

Instead, ask:

• What are my core values?

• What brings me joy outside of performance?

• What do I love about myself that has nothing to do with what I do?

Self-awareness leads to authenticity. And authenticity leads to peace.

4. Prioritize Yourself Without Guilt

Many women struggle to care for themselves because they don’t believe they deserve that care. But hear this clearly:

You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to prove your pain to get support. You are already worthy of love, care, and compassion—right now.

Make space for the things that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Whether it’s journaling, therapy, movement, or stillness—treat yourself like someone who matters. Because you do.

5. Hold the Dual Truths

Healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about embracing the complexity of being human.

• You can be a work in progress and still be whole.

• You can feel broken and still be healing.

• You can carry hurt and still be worthy of joy.

You don’t have to “arrive” anywhere to be enough. You already are.

This Women’s Month: Choose Wholeness Over Hustle

This month—and every month—resist the urge to chase approval or prove your worth.

Instead, sit with this truth:
✨ You were born worthy. You don’t need to earn it. You just need to reclaim it. ✨

Your existence, your breath, your being—are all enough.

Need Help Reclaiming Your Worth? We’re Here to Walk With You.

At Walk With Me Counseling Center in Chicago, Illinois, we understand how difficult it can be to untangle self-worth from performance, perfectionism, and past trauma. If you're struggling with feelings of inadequacy, people-pleasing, or burnout, you’re not alone.

Whether you’re working through generational wounds, navigating life transitions, or trying to silence that inner critic, our therapists are here to support you.

✨ We offer virtual therapy across the state of Illinois, so no matter where you are—Chicago or elsewhere—help is just a click away.

Ready to take the first step?
Complete our Intake Form today and begin your journey toward healing and reclaiming your worth.

Walk With Me Counseling Center is here to walk with you as you come home to yourself.

Because you don’t have to chase your worth anymore.
You already have it. 💛