Breaking Free from Rigidity: How to Become More Flexible in Life
Stubbornness and rigidity may feel like sFor many smart, self-aware individuals, stubbornness and rigidity feel like protective shields. We cling to familiar ways of thinking and acting because they give us a sense of stability and control. Yet when life throws challenges that don’t fit neatly into our usual patterns, rigidity can quickly turn into a barrier to growth.
You may already recognize this in yourself. Perhaps a friend has told you that you’re “set in your ways.” Or maybe you’ve noticed that when circumstances change, you struggle to adapt—even when change might serve your best interests.
The truth is, flexibility is not about weakness. It’s about resilience. The ability to adjust your mindset, try new approaches, and experiment with different coping strategies can open doors to personal growth, healthier relationships, and improved mental well-being.
In this article, we’ll explore why people become rigid, how it shows up in daily life, and five powerful strategies to help you cultivate greater flexibility.
Why Rigidity Develop
Rigidity can take root for many reasons. Sometimes it’s based on past experiences that shaped our worldview. Other times it’s an identity issue—we see ourselves as disciplined, unconventional, or principled, and we resist anything that feels like it contradicts that image.
Common reasons for rigidity include:
Fear of uncertainty. Predictability feels safe, while change feels risky.
Need for control. Sticking to familiar routines and beliefs creates a sense of stability.
Cultural or family influences. You may have grown up in an environment that discouraged adaptability.
Perfectionism. Rigid standards can prevent openness to trial and error.
Past trauma or stress. Negative experiences can make people cautious about trying new approaches.
When these patterns solidify, we may struggle to accept advice, avoid experimenting with new solutions, or dismiss ideas that challenge our worldview.
The Cost of Being Too Stubborn
At first glance, stubbornness might seem like determination. And in some cases, persistence is a strength. But taken too far, rigidity can lead to:
Strained relationships. Loved ones may feel dismissed or unheard when you refuse to compromise.
Missed opportunities. Refusing to try something new may prevent you from growing personally or professionally.
Poor stress management. If your default coping strategies don’t work, stress can spiral.
Health consequences. Inflexibility may stop you from following medical advice, adopting healthier routines, or seeking needed therapy.
Isolation. When rigidity becomes overwhelming, others may stop engaging with you, creating distance and loneliness.
Understanding these costs is the first step in realizing why flexibility isn’t optional—it’s essential for thriving.
5 Ways to Become More Flexible and Adaptable
If you’ve been told you’re stubborn or you feel yourself resisting change, you’re not alone. Flexibility is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned and strengthened. Here are five research-based and therapist-informed approaches to help you practice adaptability.
1. Identify Who You’re Willing to Take Direct Advice From
One of the simplest ways to step outside your rigid patterns is to lean on others. Ask yourself:
“If I were struggling, who’s the one person I’d trust for advice?”
“Who in my circle has proven they can see solutions when I feel stuck?”
Interestingly, many of us are more open to advice from those slightly removed from our daily lives—like a cousin, mentor, or colleague—because we perceive less judgment or emotional baggage.
Next time you’re overwhelmed by too many choices, intentionally seek out those trusted voices. Their perspectives may give you strategies you wouldn’t have considered.
2. Identify Whose Example You’re Willing to Follow
Direct advice is powerful, but sometimes subtle modeling is just as impactful. Ask yourself:
Who do I admire for their calmness under pressure?
Who do I see handling challenges in a balanced, thoughtful way?
Pay attention to how these role models act—not just what they say. Observing someone else take a proactive, non-avoidant approach can nudge you toward trying similar strategies.
This is particularly helpful if your family or close circle tends to avoid problems. By looking outward, you expand your toolkit of coping mechanisms.
3. Establish a “Trust but Verify” System
If you struggle with low trust, it’s easy to dismiss advice outright. But you can create a system that balances skepticism with openness.
For example:
Step 1: Choose trustworthy sources. If you need health advice, find the most credible doctor you can access.
Step 2: Cross-check or experiment. Instead of blindly rejecting recommendations, test them in small ways. Try out the advice, track results, and evaluate.
This approach allows you to feel in control while still opening yourself up to new possibilities. Over time, “trust but verify” can transform resistance into cautious openness.
4. Utilize Negative Emotions as Motivation
Rigidity often thrives when emotions are suppressed. But strong emotions—fear, sadness, anxiety—can also be catalysts for growth.
For example:
Years of tolerating anxiety might push you to finally seek therapy.
A stressful health scare might prompt you to adjust your lifestyle.
The key is to channel these intense emotional moments into sustainable habits. Don’t rely on bursts of motivation alone—pair them with systems and routines that keep you moving forward even when motivation fades.
Think of emotions as fuel to get you started, and habits as the engine that keeps you going.
5. Question Your Identity Barriers
Sometimes we resist change not because it won’t work, but because it feels like a threat to who we are.
If you see yourself as independent, you might resist therapy because it feels like dependence.
If you identify as unconventional, you may resist advice that feels too “traditional.”
If you pride yourself on resilience, you might avoid medication because it feels like “giving up.”
In these cases, reframing is critical. Instead of seeing therapy as dependence, frame it as a strategic investment in your strength. Instead of viewing medication as weakness, see it as technology that supports your body’s healing.
By shifting perspective, you preserve your autonomy while still embracing flexibility.
Flexibility Is About Autonomy, Not Weakness
Becoming more flexible doesn’t mean abandoning your principles or admitting defeat. It means giving yourself more options—more tools in your mental toolbox.
When you learn from others, test advice with your own system, channel emotions, and reframe identity barriers, you create space for growth. Flexibility isn’t about giving in. It’s about empowering yourself to adapt, thrive, and find solutions you may never have considered.
How Therapy Can Help You Become Less Rigid
Sometimes, becoming less stubborn isn’t just about willpower—it’s about guidance. A therapist can help you:
Recognize hidden patterns that keep you stuck.
Identify emotional triggers that fuel rigidity.
Practice reframing thoughts in healthier, more flexible ways.
Build coping strategies tailored to your personality and values.
At Walk With Me Counseling Center in Chicago, Illinois, we work with individuals who want to grow beyond their current limitations. Whether rigidity has strained your relationships, made work stressful, or heightened your anxiety, therapy provides a safe space to explore change.
Final Thoughts
hields, but they can also hold you back from becoming the best version of yourself. Growth requires openness, adaptability, and a willingness to test new paths. By practicing these strategies—and seeking support when needed—you can begin to experience the freedom and resilience that come with flexibility.
Call to Action
Walk With Me Counseling Center is here to help if you're overwhelmed by election stress, political disagreements, or the personal weight of feeling “stuck.” We offer virtual therapy sessions across Illinois, so support is just a click away no matter where you are—whether in Chicago or another part of the state.
Complete our Intake Form today and take the first step toward protecting your mental health during this intense election season.
Your mental well-being should be your top priority. Don’t let rigidity strain your relationships or leave you feeling isolated. Whether you’re in Chicago or elsewhere in Illinois, we’re here to walk with you—helping you embrace change, build resilience, and find peace.
