3 Ways to Keep Going When Life Isn't Going as Planned

Life rarely goes exactly as planned. Even when we map out our goals and routines, challenges show up that remind us how unpredictable things can be. The ability to adapt and keep moving forward isn't something you're born with—it's a skill you can build over time.

It's about getting back up when life knocks you down. It's about having people you can lean on and tools you can use when things get hard. And it's about not just surviving the tough stuff, but learning from it.

One thing keeps showing up when you talk to people who've been through hard times: the same skills that help you handle big crises also help you handle everyday stress. Whether it's a major life change or just a really hard week, these three strategies can help.

1. Look at Setbacks Differently

Bad things happen. No matter how hard you try to avoid them, setbacks will find you. You might lose a job, fail at something important, end a relationship, or miss an opportunity you really wanted.

When something goes wrong, most of us blame ourselves. We think, "I should have seen this coming. I should have done better." But thinking that way keeps you stuck, feeling bad about yourself.

Instead of asking "Why me?", try asking "What can I do next?" or "What can I learn from this?"

This doesn't make the hurt go away. But it helps you move forward instead of staying stuck. A setback can actually become a turning point—a chance to discover something new about yourself.

Think about it: People who lose their jobs sometimes find work they actually love. People who go through breakups often figure out what they really need in a relationship.

Here's how to shift your thinking:

• Take a breath before reacting. Give yourself a minute to think

• Be kind to yourself. Bad things happen to everyone. This doesn't define you

• Ask better questions: What is this teaching me? What can I do differently next time?

• Think of failure as information. Every experience tells you something useful

Sometimes the best opportunities come disguised as problems. What feels like an ending might actually be a beginning.

2. Let People Help You

You can't do everything alone. When life gets overwhelming, it's hard to see clearly. That's when the people who care about you become really important.

Having people who support you does more than just make you feel better. They remind you of your strengths when you forget. They encourage you to try things you wouldn't try on your own. Even small things—a text from a friend, a kind word, a hug—can help you keep going.

Good people also celebrate with you when things go well. That builds energy and reminds you that you don't have to carry everything by yourself.

Ways to build your support system:

• Figure out who your people are—the ones you can be honest with

• Tell them when you're struggling. Letting people in helps you connect

• Support them back. Helping each other makes relationships stronger

• Celebrate together. Notice good things—yours and theirs

Ask yourself: Who can I lean on when things get hard? And who can lean on me?

3. Take Care of Yourself Every Day

Your ability to handle hard things doesn't just show up during a crisis. It's built slowly, every single day, through small habits that keep you grounded.

When you take care of yourself regularly, your body and mind are more ready to handle stress and change. These habits don't have to be complicated. They can be simple things like:

• Taking a morning walk

• Writing down what you're grateful for

• Taking ten minutes to sit quietly

The important part isn't doing it perfectly. It's doing it consistently. It's about creating small moments that remind you that you matter.

Ideas for daily habits:

• Notice what helps you feel better. Maybe it's journaling, listening to music, or going outside

• Protect that time. Pick one thing and make space for it every day

• Don't worry about doing it perfectly. Doing something small regularly is better than trying to do something big that you can't keep up with

• Don't compare yourself to others. Do what actually works for you

• Change when you need to. As your life changes, your habits can change too

When you take care of yourself on purpose, you build up strength that makes hard times easier to get through. You can't control what happens, but you can control how ready you are to handle it.

Small Acts Build Strength

These skills matter not just during big life crises, but also in everyday life—dealing with work stress, managing family stuff, or handling difficult conversations.

Every time you reframe a problem, lean on someone, or take care of yourself, you're building strength for whatever comes next. You're training yourself to handle life with more flexibility and hope.

This isn't about pretending life is easy or that nothing hurts. It's about trusting that you can handle both the ordinary and the extraordinary, with compassion for yourself.

When You Can't Get Back Up.

Sometimes life doesn't just knock you down—it keeps you there. If you've been trying to pick yourself up and it's not working, if things keep going wrong and you can't see a way forward, that might be more than just a hard time. You don't have to keep trying to bounce back all by yourself. 

You Don't Have to Do This Alone

At Walk With Me Counseling Center, we work with people who are trying to keep going when life feels too heavy. We offer virtual therapy sessions across Illinois, including Chicago.

You don't have to figure everything out on your own.

📞 Schedule a Free Consultation