Finding Purpose When You Feel Lost

You wake up. Go to work. Come home. Scroll your phone. Go to bed. Repeat. And somewhere in the middle of it all, you think, is this it? Is this what my life is supposed to be?

It's not that you're miserable. It's that you're not really anything. Just... here. Going through the motions of a life that's fine but doesn't feel like yours.

Many people we work with in therapy across Illinois describe feeling this exact way. They're not necessarily depressed. They're functioning. They have jobs, relationships, and responsibilities. But something's missing. A sense of meaning. Direction. Purpose.

And when you mention this to people, they tell you to find your passion, discover your calling, figure out what you were put on this earth to do. Which only makes you feel more lost, because what if you don't know? What if you've never had a grand mission or a clear path?

Here's what we've learned from working with people navigating this struggle. Purpose doesn't have to be grand, permanent, or world-changing. It can be simple, everyday, and deeply personal.

A Story About Purpose

A hospice volunteer once shared a story that's stayed with us for years. She worked with a woman named Diane who had spent much of her adult life caring for her husband through a long battle with prostate cancer. After his death, Diane left her position as a university English professor and returned to something that had always brought her joy: writing poetry.

Her days took on a quiet rhythm in her modest Chicago condo. She wrote every single day, sometimes for hours, submitting her work to journals and magazines.

When the volunteer met Diane, she had already been diagnosed with advanced colon cancer. Over the months, her health slowly declined, first physically, then mentally. Yet during one of the final visits, Diane had a rare moment of clarity. She asked the volunteer if she'd been writing any poetry of her own. When the answer was yes, Diane's eyes lit up.

She insisted the volunteer print the poem on her computer right then and there.

Diane died only a few days later. While sorting through her belongings with her family, they found the printed poem sitting on her desk, covered in red notes Diane had written in the margins. Thoughtful edits and encouragements were given just days before her passing.

Even in her final moments, Diane was doing something deeply meaningful to her: helping others write better poetry. That's when it became clear. Purpose isn't always about grand achievements or lifelong missions. It's often woven into the simple, everyday things that light you up.

Love the Process, Not Just the Result

Anna's story shows two different ways to think about purpose.

There's the kind we usually hear about. Grand, ambitious goals. Writing a bestselling novel. Building a successful business. Climbing the tallest mountain. These can be rewarding, but they often come with pressure, expectation, and anxiety. And if you don't achieve them, you feel like you've failed.

Then there's the kind of purpose you can live every day. It's found in the joy of the process, not just the end result.

Anna didn't write poetry solely to get published. Publication was a bonus. She wrote because the act of writing itself fed her soul.

When you love the process, success is no longer defined only by recognition, money, or achievements. It's measured by how alive the act makes you feel. Whether you lose track of time. Whether you finish feeling energized instead of drained. Your body knows the difference between doing something because you should and doing something because it feeds you.

Redefine Success on Your Terms

We often think purpose only counts if it leads to measurable success. That belief can trap you.

True purpose isn't about trophies, promotions, or public praise. It's about the moments when you're so absorbed in something you love that you forget to check your phone. When hours pass like minutes. When you feel more like yourself than you do anywhere else.

If your sense of purpose depends solely on winning or achieving, failure is inevitable. But if your purpose is rooted in the process, you can't lose. You might adjust your approach, change your methods, or explore new directions, but the act itself still nourishes you.

When the joy fades, that's not a sign to quit altogether. It's an invitation to shift toward something that re-energizes you.

Purpose Doesn't Have to Be Forever

Many people assume their purpose must be lifelong or world-changing. That belief can make finding it feel overwhelming.

The truth? Purpose can evolve.

Diane's purpose shifted from teaching to poetry. In different seasons of your life, your purpose may shift too, sometimes subtly, sometimes dramatically. That doesn't make earlier purposes less meaningful. It simply means you've grown and your focus has changed.

Purpose can also be deeply personal. It doesn't have to be public or visible. It might be raising your children. Tending a garden. Painting landscapes in your spare time. Cooking meals for friends. Volunteering at a local shelter. Learning to play an instrument.

What matters most is that it feels alive to you right now.

You Can Have More Than One

We often hear that each of us has one true purpose, as if life is a treasure hunt with a single prize. But most people are not one-dimensional.

You can have multiple purposes, different passions that fulfill you in unique ways. Diane loved poetry, but she also loved playing board games with friends in her building. Laughter around the game table was just as nourishing to her spirit as writing.

Your purposes can be serious or playful, solitary or social, short-term or lifelong. They don't have to compete with each other. They can coexist and complement each other.

Let your sense of purpose be expansive. You're allowed to care about more than one thing.

Purpose Connects You to Others

Some people think of purpose as a solitary journey, but the most fulfilling purposes often involve others.

Diane's home wasn't filled with expensive things. Her walls were bare, her furniture worn. But her apartment was often full of life. Artists, writers, and creatives visited regularly, even in her final months.

Her purpose, writing and helping others write, became a bridge to deep connections.

When you share something you love, you naturally attract others who share that passion. This is often how people find belonging again, especially when other parts of life feel isolating or disconnected. Purpose isn't just about what you do. It's also about who you do it with.

What This Means for You

Diane didn't chase a perfect life or try to make her purpose look impressive to others. She simply followed what made her happy, and in doing so, she left a lasting impact.

Purpose isn't only for the young, the ambitious, or the accomplished. It's for everyone. Whether you're in your twenties and searching for direction, in midlife craving change, or reflecting on what matters most, you can live with purpose.

These aren't strict instructions. They're invitations. Experiment with them. Keep what resonates. Let go of what doesn't.

We can't control everything life throws at us, but we can choose how we spend our days. Like Diane, we can let the things that light us up guide us, connect us, and leave ripples of meaning long after we're gone.

Where to Start

Try asking yourself these questions. Not to find the one right answer, but to experiment with what resonates:

• What activities make me lose track of time?

• Which moments in my day leave me feeling energized?

• Who do I feel most connected to when I'm doing something I love?

The answers might point you toward your next purpose, or confirm the one you're already living. Either way, they're clues, not conclusions.

Purpose isn't a single, fixed destination. It's a journey you create, moment by moment, choice by choice.

Getting Support

If you're struggling to find purpose or if you're stuck in patterns that keep you feeling empty or directionless, therapy can help.

At Walk With Me Counseling Center, we work with people across Illinois through online therapy who are navigating questions about meaning, purpose, and what makes life feel worth living. Our therapists are culturally responsive and trained to help you explore what matters to you and build a life that feels more fulfilling.

We offer free 15 minute consultations where you can talk through what's going on and see if this feels like a good fit. We're also in network with BCBS PPO and Aetna PPO, which can make support more accessible.

You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to be willing to explore what lights you up. And you don't have to do it alone.