How to Stop Overthinking When Life Feels Uncertain

You're lying in bed at 2am, running through every possible scenario. What if this happens? What if that happens? What if you make the wrong choice? What if you can't control the outcome?

Your brain won't stop. Every question leads to another question. Every scenario spins into ten more scenarios. And none of it is helping. You're just exhausted and still don't know what to do.

You know you're overthinking. But you can't stop. Because everything feels uncertain. And when you don't know what's going to happen, your brain tries to prepare for every possibility. Which is impossible. But your brain keeps trying anyway.

Many people we work with in therapy across Illinois describe this exact pattern. They're stuck in their head, spinning through scenarios, trying to control things they can't control. And the uncertainty makes it worse. Because the less certain things are, the more their brain tries to figure everything out.

If this is you, here's what you need to know. Overthinking doesn't prepare you for uncertainty. It just exhausts you. And there are ways to quiet your mind without needing everything to be certain first.

Why Uncertainty Triggers Overthinking

Your brain doesn't like uncertainty. It wants to know what's coming. It wants to be prepared. It wants to feel in control.

So when something is uncertain, your brain goes into overdrive trying to figure it out. It runs through every possible scenario. It analyzes every detail. It replays every conversation. It tries to predict every outcome.

This feels productive. Like you're preparing. Like you're being responsible. Like if you just think about it enough, you'll figure out the right answer.

But you won't. Because overthinking doesn't solve uncertainty. It just creates more anxiety. And the more you try to think your way to certainty, the more stuck you get.

What You're Actually Trying to Control

When you're overthinking, you're usually trying to control one of two things. The outcome. Or how you'll feel if the outcome is bad.

You're trying to figure out how to make sure things turn out okay. Or you're trying to prepare yourself emotionally in case they don't. And both of those are impossible.

You can't control outcomes. You can make good decisions. You can prepare. You can do everything right. And things can still go wrong. That's just how life works.

And you can't prepare yourself emotionally for every possible bad outcome. Your brain thinks if you imagine the worst-case scenario enough times, it won't hurt as much if it happens. But that's not true. It just makes you anxious now for something that might not even happen.

The Difference Between Thinking and Overthinking

Thinking through a decision is good. Considering your options is smart. Planning ahead is helpful.

But overthinking is different. Overthinking is when you're thinking in circles. When you're replaying the same scenarios over and over. When you're analyzing things that don't have answers yet. When you're trying to prepare for things you can't control.

Here's how to tell the difference. Thinking moves you forward. Overthinking keeps you stuck.

If you're thinking, you consider your options, weigh the pros and cons, make a decision, and move on. Even if you're not sure it's the right decision, you make one and see what happens.

If you're overthinking, you consider your options but can't decide. You keep going back and forth. You keep looking for more information. You keep trying to be absolutely certain before you commit. And you stay stuck.

What Actually Helps

If you're stuck in overthinking, here's what can help you get unstuck:

• Name what you can actually control. You can't control the outcome. But you can control your effort. Your preparation. Your values. Your response. Focus on those things. Let go of the rest.

• Make a decision with the information you have. You're never going to have perfect information. You're never going to be 100% certain. Make the best decision you can with what you know right now. And trust that you'll handle whatever happens.

• Set a time limit on thinking. Give yourself 20 minutes to think through the decision. Then make a choice. Don't let yourself spiral for hours or days. Decide and move forward.

• Accept that mistakes are part of the process. You're going to make some wrong choices. That's how you learn. Trying to avoid all mistakes keeps you stuck. And it's impossible anyway.

• Get out of your head. Move your body. Talk to someone. Do something that requires your attention. Overthinking happens when you're alone in your thoughts with nothing else to focus on.

When Overthinking Is Actually Anxiety

Sometimes overthinking isn't about the decision. It's about anxiety. The need to be certain. The fear of making the wrong choice. The inability to tolerate not knowing.

For many people, chronic overthinking is a symptom of anxiety rather than a personality trait.

If you notice that you overthink everything, not just big decisions, that's worth paying attention to. If you can't make small choices without spiraling. If you're constantly second-guessing yourself. If the uncertainty makes you feel panicky or paralyzed.

That's anxiety. And it won't go away by thinking harder. It goes away by learning to tolerate uncertainty. By building your capacity to make decisions without knowing for sure how they'll turn out.

The Hard Truth About Uncertainty

Here's what you need to accept. Life is uncertain. You can't know how things will turn out. You can't control everything. You can't prepare for every possibility.

And that's uncomfortable. Your brain hates it. But fighting against it by overthinking doesn't make it better. It just makes you miserable.

The goal isn't to eliminate uncertainty. It's to learn to move forward anyway. To make decisions without needing guarantees. To trust yourself to handle whatever happens.

That doesn't mean you stop thinking. It means you stop trying to think your way to absolute certainty. Because it doesn't exist.

Getting Support

If overthinking is affecting your ability to make decisions, sleep, or function, if uncertainty makes you feel paralyzed, or if you can't stop your brain from spiraling, therapy can help.

At Walk With Me Counseling Center in Chicago, we work with people across Illinois through online therapy and virtual counseling who struggle with overthinking, anxiety, and the need for certainty. Our therapists are culturally responsive and can help you understand what's driving your overthinking and develop strategies to make decisions and move forward even when things are uncertain.

We offer free 15 minute consultations so you can talk through what's going on and see if therapy feels like the right support. Many people use insurance to make therapy more accessible, and we work with BCBS PPO and Aetna PPO.

Overthinking feels like you're being careful and responsible. But it's actually keeping you stuck. Learning to make decisions without perfect information, to tolerate uncertainty, to trust yourself to handle whatever comes—that's what creates forward movement.

You don't need to have everything figured out. You just need to take one step. And your brain will learn that uncertainty isn't as dangerous as it feels.