Why You’re So Impatient and How Anxiety Makes Waiting So Hard

You're stuck in traffic. Your jaw is clenched. Your hands are tight on the wheel. Every red light feels personal. Every slow driver in front of you is doing it on purpose.

Or you're waiting for a text back. You sent it an hour ago. You know they're busy. You know it's not that deep. But you keep checking your phone anyway. And every minute that passes makes you more irritated.

Or you're trying to learn something new. A skill, a language, a hobby. And you're terrible at it. You want to be good now. But you're not. And the frustration is making you want to quit.

You're impatient. And it's exhausting.

Many people we work with in therapy across Illinois describe feeling like they're constantly rushing, constantly irritated by anything that takes time. They know logically that some things can't be rushed. But emotionally? They can't stand waiting.

If this is you, here's what you need to know. Your impatience isn't a character flaw. But it is costing you. And there's a different way to experience waiting that doesn't involve gritting your teeth through it.

Why You're So Impatient

Impatience isn't random. There are real reasons you struggle with waiting.

You might be impatient because you're used to instant everything. Fast food. Fast internet. Fast responses. Your brain has been trained to expect immediate results. So when something takes time, it feels wrong.

You might be impatient because waiting feels like wasting time. You have so much to do. So many things are competing for your attention. Sitting still or moving slowly feels inefficient. Like you're falling behind.

You might be impatient because you're anxious. When you're waiting, you're not in control. And not being in control triggers anxiety. So you rush to get back to feeling like you have a handle on things.

Or you might be impatient because you've been hurt by waiting before. You waited for someone who didn't show up. You waited for something that never came. So now, waiting feels dangerous. Like you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

All of these make sense. But they're also keeping you from experiencing life in a way that's actually satisfying.

What Impatience Costs You

When you're constantly impatient, here's what you miss.

• You miss the journey. You're so focused on getting to the destination that you don't notice what's happening along the way. The conversation you're half-listening to because you're thinking about the next thing. The meal you're inhaling instead of tasting. The drive you're white-knuckling instead of experiencing.

• You miss connection. Impatience makes you rush people. You cut them off. You finish their sentences. You check your phone while they're talking. And they feel it. They feel like you don't have time for them.

• You miss growth. Learning anything worthwhile takes time. But if you're impatient, you quit before you get good. You decide it's not working fast enough. You move on to something else. And you never develop the skills or depth you were capable of.

• You miss peace. Impatience is a constant low-level stress. Always rushing. Always irritated. Always feeling like things aren't moving fast enough. That's exhausting. And it robs you of the ability to feel calm.

What Changes When You Learn to Wait

Here's the surprising part. Learning to be patient doesn't just make waiting less painful. It actually makes life better.

When you can be patient with a process, the journey becomes enjoyable. You're not just enduring the climb to get to the summit. You're noticing the view. You're feeling your body move. You're present.

When you can be patient with people, your relationships deepen. You listen better. You give people space to be themselves. You're not rushing them to get to the point. And they feel that. They feel like you actually care.

When you can be patient with yourself, you give yourself room to grow. You don't quit the first time something is hard. You don't beat yourself up for not being perfect immediately. You let yourself be a beginner. And that's when real learning happens.

And when you can be patient with uncertainty, you stop needing to control everything. You can sit without knowing what's next. You can trust that you'll figure it out. That creates a kind of peace that rushing never will.

How to Actually Enjoy Waiting

Learning to enjoy waiting sounds impossible when you're someone who hates it. But it's not about forcing yourself to love sitting in traffic. It's about shifting what waiting means to you.

Notice when you're rushing and ask yourself why. Most of the time, the urgency you feel isn't real. Nothing terrible will happen if you slow down. Your brain is just used to moving fast. Noticing that creates space to choose differently.

Find something to appreciate in the moment you're in. If you're stuck in traffic, notice the song that's playing. If you're waiting for a text, notice what you're doing instead of staring at your phone. If you're learning something slowly, notice the small improvements you're making.

Reframe waiting as preparation. When you're waiting for something you're excited about, let yourself enjoy the anticipation. The planning. The daydreaming. That's part of the experience, not just the obstacle before the experience.

Be patient with people as a gift you give them. When someone is talking slowly or taking their time, remind yourself that your presence matters more than your efficiency. Slowing down for someone is one of the kindest things you can do.

Trust yourself to handle uncertainty. When you don't know what's next, instead of rushing to figure it out, remind yourself that you've handled hard things before. You can handle this, too. Patience with yourself builds confidence.

When Impatience Is Really Anxiety

Sometimes, what looks like impatience is actually anxiety. The inability to wait isn't about efficiency. It's about not being able to tolerate the discomfort of uncertainty.

If you notice that your impatience comes with racing thoughts, physical tension, or a sense of dread, that's worth exploring. You might not just be impatient. You might be anxious.

And if that's the case, learning patience isn't just about slowing down. It's about learning to regulate your nervous system so uncertainty doesn't feel so threatening.

Getting Support

If impatience is affecting your relationships, your ability to stick with things, or your overall sense of peace, therapy can help.

At Walk With Me Counseling Center, we work with people across Illinois through online therapy and virtual counseling who are struggling with impatience, anxiety, and the constant feeling of needing to rush. Our therapists are culturally responsive and can help you understand what's driving your impatience and develop ways to experience life with more presence and calm.

We offer free 15-minute consultations so you can talk through what's going on and see if therapy feels like the right support. Many people use insurance to make therapy more accessible, and we work with BCBS PPO and Aetna PPO.

Impatience doesn't make you a bad person. But it does make life harder than it needs to be. Learning to wait, to be present, to trust the process—that's not about becoming passive. It's about experiencing life fully instead of rushing through it.

You don't have to white-knuckle your way through every moment. There's another way. And it starts with giving yourself permission to slow down.